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... ** If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to
choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?
** How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let
the bitch do the dishes in the dark.
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Never mind that why was she out of
the house?
** A woman walks into a cocktail bar, approaches the barman and says : " Can I have a double-entendre please?"
So
he gives her one.........
Q. Why did God create woman?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Q.
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q. What is the definition of "making
love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is riding her.
Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because
it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen
to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A.
Marry it!
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. How
is a woman like a condom?
A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.
Q. Why is the space
between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Q:
How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Q: What are three
words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor
party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
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