-CAT JOKES-
What do cats like on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
What do cats like on their hot dogs?
Mouse-tard.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
What do you call a cat that lives in the desert?
Sandy Claws.
What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sourpuss.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
What magazine do cats like to read?
Good Mousekeeping.
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss.
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"
- DOG JOKES-
Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little
doggie.
Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
He doesn't believe in dogs.
What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
A south paw.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help ... after he bites
your leg off.
What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
A pet degree.
What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"?
A watch dog.
What is a little dog's favorite drink?
Pupsi-cola.
What kind of dog floats in the air?
An Airedale.
What do you get if an Airedale floats too close to the sun?
A hot dog.
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.
Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
In pup tents.
Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The out side.
Why did the little boy name his dog Computer?
Because it came with lots of bytes.
